Revelations
by Natalie6
Summary: Takes place after "Experience is the Teacher". What if the events that occured between Grace and Dimitri caused Eli to realize something he had been hiding for a long time?
1. Default Chapter

Summary: Takes place after "Experience is the Teacher". What if the events that occured between Grace and Mr. Dimitri made Eli realize something he had been hiding for a long time?  
Rating: PG-13..for now. :-D  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these amazing characters, they belong to the brilliant creators of Once and Again. Don't sue!  
  
*Revelations*  
  
She sat there on her bed, still holding the book August had given her in her hands. Was love always this unfair? There always seemed to be a million obstacles in her way, and things just never turned out the way she hoped they would.   
There was the small consolation that August had felt the way she felt, to some extent. She knew he wasn't as infatuated with her as she with him, but for once in her life, she knew she made an impact on someone else's life. She continued to muse this over in her head until a light knock on the door startled her out of her reverie.  
"Who is it?" she asked tiredly, not wanting to deal with her mom or any of the other prying family members. She just couldn't take any more criticism at this point.  
"It's me..Eli."  
Grace sighed, knowing that letting him would most likely lead to him making her feel even worse about what had happened..but she honestly didn't care all that much what he thought anymore. It was kind of amazing, but true.  
"Come in."  
Eli walked in cautiously, taking her in with wide eyes. Her hair was mussed and her eyes were red, probably from crying he guessed. Never in a million years would he have guessed that someone like Grace would get herself into a situation like this. Realizing he hadn't said anything, he shut the door quietly and took a seat next to her on the bed. "Hey."  
"Just get your jokes and snide comments out now, Eli." Grace muttered, looking away. The way he had examined her when he walked in made her feel even worse. It was bad enough having everyone at school staring at her, she didn't need it from him too.  
Eli shook his head. "Believe it or not, I'm not here to make judgements. I just wanted to see if maybe you..wanted to talk. Or maybe talk about something else, since I'm sure you've had enough of talking about..stuff."   
He couldn't explain why he suddenly cared, but it was almost as if he could identify with her at this moment. He knew what it was like to screw up and disappoint people, and he knew what it was like to fall for someone..and get your heart stomped on by them. He had been there, and he felt like maybe he could be the one to help her as she had helped him once before.  
She smiled sarcastically. "We have barely talked in months, Eli. I don't really know what either of us has to say at this point."  
She couldn't deny that the fact that he was making this gesture towards her was somewhat decent of him. Unfortunately, it didn't erase the fact that he had hurt her just as badly before Mr. Dimitri had even come along, and she still carried the emotional scars to prove it.  
"Yeah, I know. Things have just been..crazy the past few months. With my mom..and..all that."   
Eli knew that his excuse was weak, but what else could he say? He didn't know why he was avoiding her, he didn't know why things were the way they were between them. At one point in time, they were somewhat close, but things just..changed. And now, looking at her a few months later, he could see that she had grown. Something about her was more mature, more knowing. And he was sure that as she was looking at him, she saw the same confused screw-up guy she had seen for the past year.  
She nodded, knowing that she couldn't argue with him right now. It would take too much energy, and she had enough on her mind as it was.  
"So what is it that you would like to say, Eli? Do you have some pearls of wisdom?" She asked, turning to him with a weary smile.  
Eli laughed quietly. "No, no pearls of wisdom. Remember who you are talking to."  
She laughed, the first genuine one of the day. "Isn't that the truth."  
"Hey..I resent that."  
"You said it, not me." She reminded him teasingly.  
"True. Honestly, I wish I had some sort of clever fix to this sort of thing, but I don't. I just..I have been in that place..well..not exactly.." Eli quickly added, smirking a little bit.   
"Well..I'd hope not." She grinned. "That would be kind of sick."  
Eli looked at her, the smile on her face, and he had to wonder, what had really happened between her and this Mr. Dimitri. It was so strange to think of her..like that. He had always thought of Grace as somewhat untouchable. It wasn't that he didn't think anyone would want her, it was just that it seemed like she was too good for the random high school guy. In a way, it made sense. Of course she would end up falling for someone older than her..and it really wasn't so much a shock that he would end up falling back.  
"Are you okay?" She asked him, watching as he stared at her wall dazedly.   
Eli blinked, looking back at her. "Yeah..I was just thinking."  
She nodded. "Seems to be alot of that going on lately."  
She could tell that her situation with August was drawing some bizarre connection for him with Carla..or someone. She suddenly thought back to her mom and Rick's wedding, when they had been talking..just like this. That was the night they had almost kissed, and Jessie had walked in. It was amazing how long ago that seemed now. Things were so different now, she was so different now. She wondered what she would do if that happened now.  
"Well..I guess I'll let you go to sleep. You look pretty tired." He got up, not sure what else to say. He knew he wanted to say something, but he was never good at expressing his feelings in words.  
"Alright. Well..thanks." She wasn't quite sure what she was thanking him for, but somehow his visit made her feel visibly better.  
"Yeah..you know..if you want to come talk or hang out anytime..you're welcome." That wasn't what he was planning to say, but he supposed it was better than nothing.  
She nodded. "Okay..I will." She didn't know that she actually would..but it seemed like the right thing to say.  
He smiled awkwardly, opening the door. "Good night, Grace."  
"Night, Eli."  
**********************  
  
It was true..what he had said. She could stop by anytime, right? Well now seemed like the right time to test that out. She banged on the door, fury in her eyes, ready to give him a piece of her mind.  
"Damnit, hold on!" Eli yelled from inside, pulling his pants on as fast as he could, as to stop the insistent bashing at his door. What the hell was going on, what did he do this time? He flung open the door, only to find her there in mid-knock..or mid-bash.  
Grace pushed him into the room, not paying any attention to the fact that her hand was on his bare chest, and turning around to slam the door shut. "Why the hell would you tell them that, Eli? I thought you were on my side? Was that all just a joke to you? Because it sure as hell isn't a joke to me."   
Eli looked at her, realization dawning as he clued in to what she was talking about. "I just don't want to see you end up like me, Grace. You're so much better than that."  
"Ya know what, Eli..you're right. And if I am so much better than you, why would you possibly think I'd end up being as much as a screw-up as you? Maybe I made a mistake, I shouldn't have to suffer for it for the rest of the year!" She cried, her eyes wild and tears beginning to form in them.  
Eli sighed, backing away from her. He felt like shit, if that was her mission..she had accomplished it. He honestly just wanted to help her, he didn't want to see her keep messing around with that crappy Dimitri guy. Maybe he had gone about it the wrong way. He probably should have just bashed that jerk's face in.  
"I'm sorry. I guess I made a mistake. I was just trying to look out for you." Eli put his hands up in defeat, giving her his best puppy-dog look.  
Grace rolled her eyes, the anger beginning to leave her body. She kinda figured it was something like that..but still. To give her mom and Rick the idea that she shouldn't be allowed to go out for the rest of the year..that was just overkill. And of course they loved it. Of course.  
She sat down on the floor, her back resting against the door. "It's not like I was going to go back to him, ya know."  
Eli breathed a silent sigh of relief and nodded. "Good."  
"Because..it's over."  
"Good."  
"God, you sound as bad as my father. Why do you care so much?" she asked, looking at him curiously. Truthfully, she really did wonder. All the sudden he was acting like the older brother she had never had..it was kind of eerie, considering previous circumstances.  
Silence filled the room. Eli sat on his bed, trying to think of the right way to put it. But really, put what? He had no idea what the answer was to this question. He had just suddenly felt the insane urge to protect her when he had found out about everything, and it hadn't left him.  
"Well? Are you going to answer me?"   
"Because..you're my step-sister."  
"Oh, so you feel obligated to act like my dad?"  
"No, it's not like that."  
"How is it like then?" She asked, getting frustrated. Trying to get an answer out of Eli took forever. Especially one that he obviously didn't want to say..for whatever reason.  
"I care about you."   
She stopped thinking, her eyes shooting up to his face. That was not an answer she was expecting, that's for sure.   
Eli looked away, feeling her eyes on his. He felt awkward having said that, but it just came out as an honest reaction. Why should he feel awkward though? They were practically family, they should care about eachother, there was nothing wrong about that. Why did it feel so wrong then?  
"Oh..well..thanks..I guess," Grace said reluctantly, feeling the need to respond, but not sure what to say at this point either. So what did that mean? He cared about her as a sister..or did he mean something else? No, she wasn't gonna go there. Not now.  
Eli felt the sudden impulse to laugh. Why was this so weird? He decided to voice this question out loud. "Why do you think this is so weird?"  
"What do you mean?" she asked, feigning ignorance.  
"Nevermind."  
"No..what?"  
"It's just that things are really weird between us sometimes and I don't really understand why," he finally restated, still not meeting her eyes.  
Grace leaned her head back against the door, looking up towards the ceiling. "I know."  
It wasn't much of an answer, but truth be told, she didn't really have one. Things had been awkward between them earlier that year, but that was when she still had that crush on him. She didn't have those feelings for him anymore, not after August..right?   
Feeling the need to change the subject, Eli got up and walked over to his cd player, saying, "You have to hear this cd..I think you'd really like it."  
"What is it?"  
"Dashboard Confessional. They are really good songs, nice and depressing. I listened to this cd alot..after Carla left." Eli told her, pausing a little when saying Carla's name.   
He hadn't thought about her a whole lot, until recently. And it wasn't so much that he was thinking about her exactly, he was just thinking about things that had happened around that time, and how great Grace had been when Carla had left him.   
"Great..depressing..just what I need," Grace enthused sarcastically, getting up from her seat on the floor and throwing herself on his bed.   
The music filled the room and Eli took a seat on his bed, hesitantly laying down aside of her. They both sat in silence, listening to the song.  
'As for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs and sit alone and wonder..how you're making out. But as for me I wish that I was anywhere..with anyone..making out. I'm missing your laugh, how did it break? I hope you're as happy as you're pretending..missing your bed, I never sleep..'  
The song ended, and the silence hung in the air. Eli couldn't help but think that lying here next to her..was a pretty nice way to spend his night. He couldn't concentrate on the music, just wondering what she was thinking as she listened to it. She was probably thinking about Dimitri, and wishing that she was lying next to him. This disturbed him, and he was trying to ignore the reason that was running over and over in his head.  
Grace thought about the lyrics of the song, trying not to think about the fact that Eli's arm was nearly touching hers and that she could hear him breathing softly. It truly was a depressing song, and it was sad to think of Eli sitting alone in his room listening to that..thinking about Carla, or whoever. She wondered if he had been thinking about her again while hearing it just now.  
Eli finally broke the silence. "So what did you think?"  
"It was..really good. Really sad..but good."  
He nodded his agreement, not wanting to turn and look at her.  
"Eli?"  
A brief pause and then he responded, "Yeah?"  
"Were you..thinking about Carla just now?"  
Eli laughed, propping his head up on his hand while turning to face her. "No..I've been over that..a long time."  
"Oh. Well..what were you thinking about then?"  
He raised his eyebrows, wondering how the hell she had gotten so bold. A year ago, she never would have had the guts to ask him these questions. He turned somber, realizing the answer to her question.  
Grace looked at him inquisitively, dying to know what was going on in that mind of his. Being in here..with him..made her forget about everything that had been going on the past few months. It brought her back to a time when the only thing she really cared about..was him. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing..she didn't know. All she knew was that she was desperate to know what he had been thinking about just then, with that expression on his face. She couldn't describe the expression..but it was something she had never seen from him before.  
Realizing that her question had gone a long time unanswered, Eli responded with the most honest answer he could give her.  
"I was just thinking about how much things have changed."  
"Such as.."  
"Such as you. You used to be this shy, amazingly wise beyond your years, awkward girl. And now you're..grown up I guess. You're still wise beyond your years, but you're independent and beautiful and self-assured. It's..it's just weird how much you've changed."  
Did he just call her beautiful? And self-assured? Wow, he didn't see her the way she saw herself. Was that really how he saw her, or was he just saying that?   
"I think you're going a little far, Eli. I'm nowhere near beautiful, and I'm not self-assured. I just pretend like I am," she kind of laughed, but it came out hollow-sounding, even to her ears.  
"You do a good job fooling me," Eli murmured, watching her intently as she self-consciously tucked a piece of hair behind her ears.  
She felt her breathing quicken as their eyes locked. Instinctively, she felt herself move closer to him on the bed. He reached his hand out, brushing his palm against her cheek softly. She shut her eyes slowly, feeling his hand caress her cheek.  
He wrapped his other free arm around her waist, not thinking about anything but how right this all felt. Her eyes were now open, staring back into his.  
"Eli?"  
"Yeah."  
"Would you.."  
She didn't get to finish, her sentence cut off by his mouth meeting hers hungrily. Their kiss was filled with the built-up tension of the past years. Grace met his lips eagerly, unable to contain the soft murmur of contentment that passed through her mouth.  
He placed his hand under her shirt, needing to touch her. Her tongue slid into his mouth, causing him to moan a little. He couldn't stop touching her, kissing her. His hand slid up her shirt, caressing her stomach lightly.  
She sighed against his mouth, knowing that she had to pull away. Using all the willpower she had, she gently broke away. Her heart was beating at a mile a minute, and her head was racing. For once in her life, she was completely and utterly speechless.   
Eli blinked a few times, taking in what had just happened. He just kissed Grace. His stepsister. And it was quite possibly one of the most heart-stopping, incredible, amazing kisses he had ever had in his entire life. What the hell was going on?  
Grace sat there, her cheeks burning. This was not what she had expected at all. Why was it that everything in her life had to happen within a two week radius? As if things weren't confusing enough..  
"I don't..I don't know what to say."  
"I know."  
"I mean..wow."  
"I know."  
"But this is really..not..right. I mean..there's the whole step-sibling thing..and then there's the whole Mr. Dimitri thing..and.." she trailed off, not even convincing herself, let alone him.  
"I know."  
"Could you possibly say anything else besides 'I know'?"  
"I don't know." Eli smiled slightly, watching her roll her eyes. Something had just happened to him that he couldn't describe, that he couldn't understand. He always knew that there was something different about his and Grace's relationship..and now he knew. It took her falling in love with someone else to make him realize what he had known all along.  
"I think I should go to bed."  
He nodded, unable to speak coherently. He was in love with her. He was in love with Grace. He had been trying to ignore it for the past two years, but now it was too painfully obvious to pretend.   
She got up, her head still reeling from their kiss. What did this mean? Did she still have feelings for him? Did he have feelings for her? Where the hell did that come from? These were questions that were going to keep her up all night.  
"I'll..well..good night." Grace practically ran from the room, closing the door shut without a second glance. She had to get out of there, before she said something incredibly stupid that she would regret.  
He watched the door close, letting out a breath he didn't even realize he had been holding. He laid back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. What the hell was he going to do now?  
  
to be continued...  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Here Is Gone

Part 2  
Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters. If I did own Shane West though...well...we won't got there. -)   
  
Eli raised an eyebrow, a look of disdain on his face.  
"You're wearing that?"  
Jessie rolled her eyes, facing herself in the mirror.   
"What's wrong with it?"  
He decided to drop it, knowing that if he gave her shit about her outfit, she wouldn't help him. And he really really needed help.   
"Nothing..you look beautiful."  
"What do you want?" Jessie asked him suspiciously, turning around to look at him. He only complimented her when he wanted something, this she knew.  
"Well..I need some advice," he muttered, not usually one to ask for someone's help, especially his younger sister's. And especially not about something like this.  
"About.."  
"About..girls. Like..how to..stop liking them."  
Jessie laughed, taking a seat next to him on the bed. He was nineteen, but sometimes he honestly sounded like a twelve year old. "Who do you like?"  
"No one," Eli lied, knowing that that wasn't going to work. She was going to question him, and he had to come up with something good, fast.  
"Eli..I'm not going to give you advice if you don't tell me who it is.."  
"Well I'll tell you who I like if you tell me who it is that you're getting all dressed up for."  
Her face turned red, and she turned her head away. "Alright..well..I honestly don't know what to tell you. You can't just make yourself stop caring about someone, it just doesn't work like that. Maybe you should try to find someone else to help you move on from this mystery girl."  
He nodded, realizing she was absolutely right. Why didn't he think of that? As soon as he went on a date with another girl, he would be over this little infatuation with Grace. Of course. Someone older, someone more his style..yeah. In fact, he probably only had feelings for Grace now because he hadn't had a date in a while. Yeah, that was it.   
Jessie smirked at Eli, amusement on her face as she watched him stare off into space. He had been doing that alot lately..it must have something to do with this girl. He must've fallen for whoever it was pretty hard..she hadn't seen him like this in a long time..if ever.  
"Well you can sit here and stare at my wall all night..but I have to get going," she teased, getting up and grabbing her purse off her bureau.   
Eli blinked, looking up at her. He had to stop doing that, it was getting embarassing.   
"Thanks for the advice, Jess. And by the way..you really do look beautiful."  
Jessie grinned self-consciously and replied, "Anytime..good luck with whatever you decide."  
She left the room, leaving Eli alone sitting on her bed. He had only been sitting there for a few seconds when the door suddenly burst open again. He looked up, to see Grace staring at him wide-eyed.   
"I..I was looking for Jessie," she stammered, feeling her cheeks burning. This was ridiculous, she couldn't even be in the same room as him anymore. So they kissed, it was no big deal. It's not like it meant anything..or did it?  
Eli smiled awkwardly, trying to think of something intelligent to say in response, but came up with nothing. He wasn't some fancy shmancy english professor after all.   
"She just left."  
"Yeah..I kinda figured. Well..I guess I'll talk to her later."  
"Yeah."  
"Well..I'll..see you around." Grace turned around, opening the door quickly, rolling her eyes at her own stupidity. She was a smart girl, but everytime she was around that boy..everything just seemed to slip her mind, and she ended up sounding like a total idiot.   
"Wait..Grace."   
She stopped and turned back around slowly, surprised that he was actually addressing her. She figured that he would avoid her for at least a week, if not more..and then he'd come and tell her that it had been a huge mistake and that would be the end of it. Maybe the end was coming sooner..  
"Yeah?"  
"Um..I'm sorry about..the other night. It wasn't the right thing..for me to do," Eli stumblingly apologized, not even sure what he was saying and why he was saying it.   
"Well..I'm sorry too. We can just forget about it," Grace responded quickly, not wanting to let him continue. It was easier this way. She couldn't handle two rejections in a week, that was just too much for her already frail ego.  
He swallowed deeply. She had done it for him. He knew he should feel relieved, but instead he felt a horrible pain in the pit of his stomach.   
"Right."  
"Ok, well I'll talk to you later," Grace chirped a little too brightly and walked out of the room before he could get out a response. She closed the door and leaned her head against it. If that was the right thing to do, why did it feel so utterly wrong?   
Eli laid down on the bed, feeling about a million times worse than he had before he had even seen Grace. He wanted to run out and grab her and tell her that he was lying and that he had these amazingly deep and exciting feelings for her that he didn't know what do with and tell her that seeing her with someone else would rip him up to shreds inside..but he didn't. Even if she felt the same way, even if they wanted to be together..it could never happen. It just wasn't possible.   
He waited in there for a few more minutes, wanting to make sure he didn't run into her again in the halls or something. It was just too hard to pretend now, he could barely do it for the five seconds they had talked earlier. He was madly in love with her, and no amount of lying and denial was going to change that.  



End file.
